…el amor, la ausencia…




“What is hell? I maintain it is the suffering of being unable to love”~(The Brother karamazov by Fyodor Dostoyevsky)

What’s the color of love? My bookshelves say it’s Blue. Would it be that simple to attribute the color blue to love?? Love is abstract in a whole different scene. Love is painted in black and white. It’s a true illustration…

Love is about finding yourself. And when you do, that is love, does it make sense? If you don’t love yourself, how would you love another person? If you don’t know the core of yourself; don’t know the inner flaws; how would you know love? And then there is the inner child; if you haven’t been introduced, then how would you grow with love?  Inner peace is also a result of love. Love is healing; love is being who you are without any fear. Love isn’t about saying the four sweet  letter word but also maintain it, show it and live by it.   

You feel free to show the darkest side of yours which you even tried to hide, even from yourself. You like to bring the weird sides of yours and feel comfortable. Love is like the laughter when you play hide and seek. Love is the moment after a healthy disagreement. Love is caring, understanding, listening and respecting each other.      

Nights in the woods when wildflowers spread fragrance in the air, that’s love. How about celebrating love and absence while making your own rain?! All the moments of absence make love more real. Life becomes more meaningful when there is love, but there is also distance. Somehow things feel more connected when love and absence come together.

Life tastes better when you are in love love. Even in your darkest hours you feel inspired with love. Love keeps you awake comfortably. No matter how far you are geographically, you are there. Distance becomes less. It’s like your mind ,spirit is travelling there without body. You live in the same time zone and you function respectively.  

But also during our greatest triumph, we were in love with being alone. We yearn to understand ourselves and feel the love for the world as well as our own being, even in moments of solitude! We need to discover that loneliness is nothing more than love, masked by the need of flavor, communication, attention..

Don’t you think, to understand more, we need to feel all aspects of loneliness to see the love that is hidden inside; bare and naked? Standing without any protection, without shield or weapons. Loneliness is none other than love made visible through sorrow and pain. Loneliness is none other than love disguised in our need for a relationship. Sounds like self-realization right, may be so, may be so..

Is absence another form of beautiful night sky? Is the night sky more meaningful with absence? Are all the shooting stars part of the absence too? Are fireworks as captivating, when you are by yourself?..

Absence is an essential element in love. It’s unbearable too. Absence is dark, like abstract paintings. The absence is painful but worth suffering for.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,

But I have promises to keep,

And miles to go before I sleep,

And miles to go before I sleep.  

Let’s draw the absence in words, it will be abstract but let’s try:

Another sunrise, another day has begun and I have to get through the day. It’s cool, calm outside and I have to get through the day. It’s only Monday and weekends on its way to spend time together. It’s early enough and my midnight is on the run. It looks like it’s going to be a beautiful day and I have to get through the day with absences; love and absences. Life carries on, circumstances change, situations varies around us… where to begin and it’s early in the morning and I have to get through the time.

Absence gives 24/7 a whole different meaning, you know. You know from your heart and feel the absence by looking at your watch in different time zone..

Sometimes you don’t know what to make out of yourself especially when life is constantly testing you. You keep swimming against the current and carry on with dignity. You never expect life to be easy but carry on somehow. You take off the mask and be yourself with love.

How do you do it time after time ,that would be a right question. Because you feel love, believe in true love with trust and understanding. Absence makes you realize what love means to you and how much you are thriving. Living becomes interesting and motivational. You don’t feel insecure with absence any more. Rather, you exercise the depth.

You feel the absence and realize what it means in whole different perspectives. You keep going with the struggle and love motivates you to go further more. When you feel heard, understood and seen than that’s another level of self-esteem. You even look forward to any challenge to overcome. You even smile in your worst situations.

You want to do many things; you even make your list of plans. Some ideas even surprise your own self. You didn’t know that you were so vividly alive inside enormously. You thought all the cruelty and tough situations had burned you, buried you down. But those tough times did put a seed inside which cultivated the soul with love and absence. All the moments of absence point you out, how you were before and how you are now.

Absence is a great coach; it teaches you things layer by layer. Make you realize what true love is!

Make you a way better person then you’re older version. It gives you vision towards the future. Current problems aren’t difficult anymore.

Home becomes a person rather than a place. You realize just by knowing the person, looking at the person no matter what and you suddenly realize how much you love about the person and how grateful of her existence.

Because you truly love the root of her, not only her flower. So when autumn comes, you don’t get scared anymore. Love and absence make polarity shift around.

There are also gut feelings about love:

  • Something about them is special
  • They can be annoying sometimes but you still put up with them
  • Every minute is worth it
  • You can’t stop seeing them
  • There’s nothing you wouldn’t do for them
  • Everything about them is perfect
  • You always want to be together
  • You can’t stop thinking about them
  • You’ll go out of your way for them
  • You offer to run errands for them
  • What they’re saying is always important
  • You are comfortable talking about bodily functions with them
  • You want to yell when you are with them
  • Wasted time doesn’t feel wasted
  • Your relationship doesn’t revolved around sex

All the points above have some inner meanings as well 😉

When you truly love someone, staying loyal becomes easy. You feel that’s the best thing that ever happen to you. That beautiful face becomes the only face in your mind, period.

In all fairness though, in between love and absence you try to be your best self. To do that though, sometimes you do things overly. But that doesn’t bring chaos because of the understanding you both have. You both help each other to bring the best of yourselves. You both bring collective evaluation into the world and shapes the planet, worth living for .

That’s heaven in earth…

One world, One love…   




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